finding the fullness of life together
“All real living is meeting.” ~ Martin Buber, I and Thou
To say that relationships are important does not stress enough the significance and necessity of knowing another and actually meeting together. When we say that relationships are important, the general response is to gather near people, speak with them, and share generally trivial material that is comfortable and appropriate for the dynamics of that specific relationship. This is not enough to satisfy the desires of our souls. We were made in relationship. As Buber states, “in the beginning is relation.” In Genesis, we read that God commanded creation into existence with the sound of His voice, but when He created us in His image this was not so. He crafted us. He formed us with His hands using His artistic and personally intimate nature. We were not made in meager interaction, but in a deeply intimate relationship that required the very breath of God to be breathed into us that we could have life. And, our souls will not be satisfied until we return to this depth of relation first with God and then with those around us.
Many have written their perspectives on the meaning of life and how one can find purpose even within the chaos. Viktor Frankl argued that man’s ultimate search for meaning will lead him to both a mission to fulfill and a person to love. Karl Marx maliciously promoted the concept that man’s meaning and worth is found in unpaid work. Buber, on the other hand, presents the case in his work I and Thou that who we are is found first in our meeting with God and second in our meeting with each other. Furthermore, in that meeting, all expectations and assumptions are discarded and treated as a hindrance to a true and present interaction with the one there; he writes, “I do not experience the man to whom I say Thou. But I take my stand in relation to him… No deception penetrates here; here is the cradle of the Real Life.” To further this point, he adds, “No aim, no lust, and no anticipation intervene between I and Thou… Every means is an obstacle. Only when every means has collapsed does the meeting come about.” He even continues by proposing that the manner of our interactions with others are reflective of our relationship with God.
In I and Thou, Buber requires an application of philosophy that demands the courage to be present, remain present, and discover not only the other but yourself as well through interaction. While this may appear easy at first glance, deeper consideration may bring reasons to hesitate. Consider for a minute that to truly meet with a person without expectations or assumptions is to eliminate judgment of others, avoid making an altered presentation of yourself, and remain sincerely honest.
I and Thou, by Martin Buber is a short but difficult must read because, if the church aspires to remain arbiters of the value of relationships, we must hold tight to a demanding understanding of what it means to be in a relationship.
Martin Buber. I and Thou. New York: Schibner Classics, 1958.