responding with grace, compassion, and understanding
In the first chapter of Romans, Paul began his theological discussion on the freedom of Christ and the insufficiency of seeking to obtain righteousness through the law with two principal truths. His first priority was to emphasize the truth of the Gospel; the Gospel clearly determined Paul’s identity and purpose. We, too, must remember that nothing is more important. But, before continuing to outline the argument for resting in the freedom of Christ, Paul took the time to also state the truth that freedom does not justify ungodliness; there is a way of life contrary to God.
It is easy, after reading the passage on ungodliness out of context, to slip into a judgmental perspective; such a reaction was not Paul’s intention. Paul always prioritized the grace of the Gospel of Christ with the reality that none of us are even remotely righteous by our own efforts. But, in the discussion of living in sin, there is room for further conversation. It should also be remembered that many of these acts of ungodliness are interwoven with the struggles of addiction. This is not said to provide an excuse; instead, it’s a call to compassion.
National and local conversations have made the prevalence of addiction a well known fact; our culture, our cities, and our families suffer addiction. Recent media coverage, however, entertains the lie that recent realities are new or unexpected. For professionals, we’re simply glad others are catching up and gaining awareness. For families with a struggling loved one, I get a sense of frustration; unfortunately, it took an influx of overdoses to trigger public concern. For those actively struggling with addiction, they tend to express thinking that the rest know less than half the story. While discussions on appropriate treatment and supportive responses are and should be entirely personalized, there are some foundational elements that we can agree on in addressing the crisis of addiction.
First, and very importantly, we need to accept the simple idea that no one chooses to be an addict; people may choose to use substances, but I have never met someone who willingly embarked on a mission to create a life of dependence, suffering, and desperation. Furthering the myth of “suffering by choice” deepens the wounds of shame giving addiction a stronger foothold. Whatever the initial intentions, the purpose of use has been lost to the consuming nature of addiction: cunning, baffling, powerful. Instead, let us first respond with grace, compassion, and empathy; when guided with these in mind, I have never found myself ashamed or regretful.
Second, and equally as important, we must expand our understanding of the allure and temptation being faced. Ultimately, addictive behaviors serve as either escape or supplement; the risk of dangerous consequences becomes acceptable because of what we are expecting to gain. If driven by pain (stress, fear, despair, physical ailment, etc.), addiction presents the temptation of numbness and dissociation. If driven by a pursuit of supplement, the underlying belief is that more is needed beyond what is naturally provided; there is a void or a sense of inadequacy justifying amplification. Treatment, then, becomes focused on either finding genuine healing and/or lasting enrichment of life while learning to avoid artificial and ineffective (addictive) solutions.
Lastly, through all of my experience, I have never met someone struggling with addiction who did not also have experiences trauma; this includes people of all walks of life—especially if we remember to hold to a wider understanding of what constitutes as a traumatic event. This being said, a trauma informed approach does not mean that we must become enablers of self-destructive behaviors; rather, it should further emphasize responding with grace, compassion, and empathy.
If you are a loved one of someone struggling with addiction, the road is hard and often full of setbacks; but, there is hope. Please, find support, seek your own therapy, and maintain your compassion. You will not find peace through shame and guilt.
If you are the one struggling with addiction, the road is hard and often full of setbacks; but, there is hope. Please find support, seek therapy, and allow yourself to accept the grace and compassion of Christ. You will not find growth through shame and guilt.