mending the soul and learning to be still
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
While the conversation of self-care is of tremendous importance, and it cannot emphasize enough the positive impact of basic preventative care, there is a point at which more is needed. When speaking of self-care, we are typically referring to stress reduction, adequate sleep, maintaining a proper diet, and treating physical ailments; existential self-care, however, is concerned with addressing the wellbeing of the soul. Keeping our minds stimulated, respecting our physical body, and setting realistic expectations partnered with healthy boundaries – while vital to one’s health – are not enough to counter the spiritual void of feeling meaningless, hopeless, and worthless. It is in this void that we find ourselves not refreshed from a vacation or not grateful despite long awaited success; of all the dimensions of wellness, spiritual health tends to be ignored.
For each, specifics regarding religious practice and priority will understandably vary; and, as long as we remain grounded in Scripture, we should allow for those variances to account for individualistic needs. However, psychologically, beginning the process of mending the soul will always include certain elements. One of these elements, for instance, includes obtaining intentional present awareness by tuning our attention to being well connected to our emotions, thoughts, desires, and body sensations; this is not for the purpose of becoming emotionally driven but rather to provide the opportunity to not stumble mindlessly through our strife. When we allow ourselves to fully experience and exist in the present moment (regardless of how uncomfortable it may be), we provide the opportunity for increased self-awareness and awareness of others, which, in turn, allows for the proper application of wisdom. And, it’s only when we have embraced a present awareness of both our joys and sorrows that we can begin to re-establish the next element of existential self-care: self-actualization (the highest understanding of lasting meaning and purpose). Deep emotional and spiritual voids are directly tied to the experience of directionless meaninglessness; in essence, the grandness and splendor of existence becomes reduced to idle drifting time. Mending the soul, then, involves reconnecting to something higher and re-engaging in the efforts to build a fulfilled life of passionate purpose. This purpose is found in the calling of God to follow Him and build our identities in His truth.
Even these elements – again, despite their tremendous benefit – can produce a neurotic response if not paired with solemn confidence: this is the practice of learning to be still. Without the disciplined practice of abiding in the presence of the Father, our natural neuroticism will twist rest into legalism, peace into doubt, and love into self-righteous deprecation. Stillness, rather, includes a settling of the heart and calming of the mind because it demands a deeply confident and genuine encounter with God. Again, if we can have the courage to sit with ourselves with present awareness (not dissociating from our experience), and if we wait upon the LORD in the stillness that only He can provide, we must then allow ourselves to accept the rest and the security of position that He graciously provides. We are more than creatures of a day; we cannot simply practice rudimentary coping skills to manage. Existential self-care is the art of validating the heart’s yearning to exist for more.
“Neurotic existence in some cases seems to be the toll that a crippled relation to transcendence takes on man.” Viktor Frankl, The Unconscious God